Non-Traditional Valentine's Cards - Straight from Room 7-246

that was their assignment today: create four to five non-traditional v-day cards. this is what i got.... and these are just a few... (it's lengthy, i know, but it's funny!)


front: you're my friend... inside: ...just not when other people are around

front: i love you! inside: almost as much as i love her

front: why should you wear boots on valentines day? inside: uggs and kisses!

front: if i had a nickle for everytime i said i love you.... inside: ...i'd be broke, since i don't

front: rose are red, violets are blue... inside: ...i like guys, but not ones like you. happy vd!

front: you were there when i was sick, when i got hit by a car, when i was in the hospital; you were there when i lost my mom... inside: damn, you're bad luck!

front: it's great that i'm not single and all inside: but i still don't love you

front: your eyes fill me with wonderment; your heart fills me with love and joy inside: that's why i didn't notice that i parked on your cat... sorry!

front: nothing says "i love you" like fattening you with hoards of chocolate

front: kiss me! inside: ...well, after you eat a breath mint

front: you know, you broke my heart inside: good thing your sister was around to cheer me up

front: you had me at hello inside: i left you at goodbye

front: all i really want for valentine's day is you! inside: well, not really, but i'll say whatever it takes to score expensive jewlery

front: you're a brick (da na na na na) house inside: well, at least you're as big as one

front: this valentine's day, i need to tell you my feelings inside: you're not what i want. it's over

front: roses are red, violets are blue, there's someone special in the world... inside: and it's not you

front: BIG THINGS! inside: your feet, my waist, your heart, our love!

front: i think you're pretty inside: but your money's gorgeous!

front: you give me butterflies inside: and they usually make me puke

front: shut up! inside: my mom says i'm beautiful!

front: if the sky was the limit... inside: i'd let you hold on to the balloon...

front: i love you but you smell. haha.... inside: haha i bet you think i'm joking... haha... no seriously - take a bath

front: i get the same thing every valentine's day... teddy bears, flowers, candy... inside: this year, just give me money!

front: even when we argue, i still want to inside: to shup up and keep your mouth closed

front: violets are blue, roses are red... inside: you broke my heart so i wish you were dead

front: will you be my boyfriend? inside: i really need to get back at my ex

front: i know you hate valentines day but... inside: i know it's just becuase you're single. don't feel bad - anyone would be lucky to have you. not me, however...


i spent a chunk of my day giggling....

How Many Freshmen Does It Take To Open a Door?

i keep my classroom door shut and locked. it keeps out noise (or keeps it in, depending on the day), and deters people from walking in and disrupting my class. the only side effect from it is that when a student uses the bathroom, someone has to get up to let them in. usually this is no big deal, but sometimes the kids are in the middle of doing something and don't want to get up.

enter a student from my fifth period class (of course). she sits nearest to the door (desks are arranged in a horseshoe shape) and always tries to lean over to the right to open the door, but she just can't reach. yesterday, she said, "you know, if i just had, like, a stick or something i could reach and no one would have to get up." this made sense, so i offered her one of the dowel rods we used as swords in romeo and juliet. unfortunately, it was not strong enough and threatened to break. "i need something thicker."

"what if we put two together? like, taped it or something?" this was from a student on the other side of the room. so we tried it. using masking tape, i bound together two dowels. she tried again. this time it was strong enough, but the dowels slid off before the door was fully opened. "rats."

"ooh, ooh!" exclaimed the student next to her, "go under the handle!" "under it? that won't work." "no, go over the handle, but under the thingie where it goes into the door."

success! this gave enough leverage so that she could open the door from her seat. through a few easy trial and errors, the kids worked out the system of pulling the door open only an inch, letting the stick be pulled back, and then opening the door fully. they really cracked me up with their teamwork to figure out how to fix it.

see? i'm all about practical applications and problem solving.

Oh, the Conversations That Happen in My Room...

bellwork: congratulations! you are now an immortal god or goddess. what are you the god/dess of? what are your powers? How do you use them?

student 1: i would be the god of karma because i -

student 2: wait, what? you'd be the god of caramel?

student 3: caramel? what kind of powers would you have? you stick to people?

student 1: karma! KARMA! you know, "what you do comes ba-"

student 2: OH! sorry, miss g, i'm SO hungry right now...

student 3: ooh, like a caramel chocolate bar would be so good -

student 1: KARMA!!! not caramel, KARMA!

and of course that was fifth period again....